BRIC-A-BRAC FROM THE BARGAIN BIN

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December 4, 2007

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BRIC-A-BRAC FROM THE BARGAIN BIN

NEIL WILLIAMSON

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Doloroso! The Saddest Music in the World

Various Artists

Skirtingboard Records

      Rounding off the Roundup this week, we have the latest release from those certifiable wackos at Skirtingboard Records, the kings of compilation, the arch scrapers of the music world’s barrel bottoms who brought us such gems as Strepitoso: Italian Library Music Of The Sixties and Kitchen Skiffle: R&B Classics Played On Ordinary Household Utensils. And if you are tempted by those titles, you deserve everything you get from their latest release.

      Whether you admire their products, you have to salute their dedication. These are the guys who strain the unsigned masses of myspace through the sieve of obsession. These are the guys who buy box loads of mixtapes from jumble sales and sleeveless LPs from charity shops. All in the knowledge that whatever madcap scheme they dream up next, they will have the musical resources to fulfil it.

      So what treats await the unwary here? Well, true to the title, they’ve certainly gone international this time round. The first track, by Glaswegian indie outfit, Swing Stars of Raçao, comes across like the teenage anger of the bastard child of Jesus And Mary Chain and Joy Division forced to witness parental punch-ups every night of its young life. As the mumbling vocals and screaming guitars fade out in a loop of uninspiring pastiche it dawns that the term “saddest music” might not solely refer to the emotion. Even the most ardent of shoegazers would have trouble identifying with this.

      What follows is a tour of pure torture. Scottish laments, Italian arias, Portuguese fado. A truly gobsmacking rendition of Eidelweiss performed on hammer dulcimer and melodeon leads into a carcrash combination of church organ and amped up breakbeats, which in turn saccharines out with a Japanese children’s choir weeping their way through a medley of Disney hits.

      And if all that weren’t enough, what the hell the last piece is all about? By an artist I’ve never heard of before called Farrago, the title of the track is listed simply as “Wainscot.” At least John Cage had a sense of humour. I can’t think of anyone who could sit through the entire 23′12” of what appears to be someone alternately stuffing themselves full and sobbing themselves hoarse.

      Honestly, it’s enough to make you cry.

CD Roundup, West End Gazette,
23 April 2007

 

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Neil Williamson’s short fiction was collected in The Ephemera, published by Elastic Press, and he co-edited Nova Scotia: New Scottish Speculative Fiction with Andrew J Wilson. Neil lives in Glasgow with a beautiful variety performer and a puppet.

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